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I’m a little big - bigger than I was
You don’t have to stare
But you can applaud my radiance
I’m a burning star poking in your eye
You can turn away
Have a little cry ‘cause of my radiance
I’m a tiny flower pressed between the sheets
Now the library’s on fire
I shall be released in my radiance
Wake up in a daze - memory’s going dark
Eyes are getting dim
Still there is a spark of my radiance
Limbs that cannot speak - words won't find themselves
Songs I’ve learnt to sing
At the bottom of a well in my radiance
The cigarettes I’ve smoked - the ghosts that I’ve exhaled
Steadily on course
The comets tail of my radiance
There is no way I’m going before you’ve heard me sing
Cancel the priest and take the lid right off this thing
Radiance, radiance, radiance
You’ve seen me fall apart and nearly die in shame
Naked and sober I’m prepared to wear the blame
Now there’s nowhere to hide I’m lighting up my name
… in radiance, radiance, radiance
I’m flaming out, I’m flaming out
I’m flaming out, I’m flaming out
I’m flaming out - don’t put me out
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2. |
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Jesus - I nearly died when she said that to me
‘Buddy now you’re on your own’, and she chopped down the tree
Now she’s building me a cross
Sneering where do I get off
And she’s putting on that sexy black skirt
And leaving me in the lurch
Get me to a church
Jesus - how did I miss that? In the blink of an eye
All our babies grew their fangs and they learnt how to bite
They’re inheriting the earth
Fucking strangers giving birth
And I’m praying that they never get hurt
Get me to a church
Get me to a church as slow as my legs can run
‘Cause there’s still some stuff I should’ve done
I wanna play it in reverse
Cause I know it now that I am well rehearsed
At my worst
Jesus - does it ever get any easier than this?
Every decade stacking up - deeper gets the abyss
But my bones still want to dance
And I’m a lover of romance
If I ever get the chance I’m gonna flirt
Then I’ll convert
Get me to a church
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3. |
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Now that our babies have grown
Our babies have grown
They’re looking like killers
And sleeping with danger
Now that our babies have grown
Now that our babies drive fast
… way too fast
They leave without kissing
And take off with our dreams
We lie awake in the dark
They’re gone - no goodbyes
We’re left here to die
We bump into mirrors
And face up to our looks
Have to see eye to eye
But - Oh - who’d wanna leave?
Not while there’s fruit on the tree
There’s room on the throne
Now that our babies have grown
Now that our babies have grown
And gone
Now that our love is so long
Our love … so long
We speak as we leave rooms
And hang on for dear life
Drink the last drop ‘til it’s gone
Not so fast - stay in your seat
Our bones need to speak
They stop what we’re thinking
And will not go dancing
But I’m not admitting defeat
But where else could we go?
Each day we’re putting on the show
The great unknown …
Now that our babies have grown
Now that our babies have grown
And gone
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4. |
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Look away - there’s nothing here
Years ago I disappeared
I was young - I was such a clown
Juggling knives in Memory town
I left my body in the past
I knew that thing would never last
This bag of bones I’m carting ‘round
Was scarred and stitched in memory town
You know this face? Well think again
I could be any of your men
When flesh was measured by the pound
I left my heart in memory town
I’ve burnt down every building that’s inside of me
Now I’m free - I’m so free
Still a shadow falls where they used to be
It’s just a trick of memory
… memory
Was I there? Oh, I forget
How it ended - the whole shipwreck
I passed out - then came around
All washed up in Memory Town
Don’t write that book or you’ll get sued
The queen herself is not amused
All my ex-es can’t put it down
Dog eared pages in memory town
I dragged myself - pillar to post - in every face
Not a trace, not a trace
Try forgetting wrong turns you’ll end up just like me
You can never leave, you can never leave
… memory
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5. |
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Do you wanna dance one more time?
Step by step - forget ourselves - let’s collide
Dance me into sleep - so sweet - beyond love
The secrets that we keep can’t speak beyond love
All our crimes we’ve analysed
Who was leading , who misled and who’s in denial
Face to face - hold your peace
There’s still some moves we haven’t tried to make our minds meet
Dance into my skin - we spin beyond love
Tighter than a knot - we’re caught beyond love
Wider than the sky - we cry - beyond love
Further than the end - and then - beyond love
Beyond our murderous sins
Beyond our aching limbs
Peel the onionskin
Beyond love
With our eyes - with our hands
Remember who we used to be when we danced?
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6. |
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To all the friends I bored to death
Now I’m gone you can all catch your breath
And pay my debts
For levitating in the air
And never sitting properly in a chair
Like I wasn’t there
Just because I couldn’t speak
I was practicing some new technique
For being oblique
For all the instruments I wrecked
In a desperate effort to connect
Oh, I forget …
If I was happy - I didn’t know
If I was angry - I couldn’t let it go
When I just left you there for the new frontier
I didn’t wanna disappear
I didn’t wanna disappear
For all the doors that I crashed through
The awful truth I was convinced I knew
Before I knew …
If I was try-hard - I was well rehearsed
If I was normal - that was even worse
When I exploded in your ear
I didn’t wanna disappear
I don’t wanna go
I wanna stay right here
Where everybody knows me
Everybody dear
Never wanna disappear
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7. |
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Everything’ll be ok - flying blind - flying blind
Everybody goes this way - flying blind - flying blind
I never thought I get this far - flying blind - flying blind
Up where the angels are - flying blind - flying blind
Look at you fast asleep with your eyepatch on
Fallen into a heap like your bones have all gone
I wanna be with you and I wanna escape
Locked up in a tube pushing blindly through space
Everything’ll be ok - flying blind - flying blind
Everybody goes this way - flying blind - flying blind
When you talk in your sleep I can’t hear what you say
With the humming of the engines and the ground miles away
I’m distracted by the thrill and the madness of flight
Gulping in thin air with my baby tonight
Are we alright ?… Flying blind
Flying blind
Somewhere in the atmosphere
Walk on the wing and take to the air
Walk on the wing and take to the air
Walk on the wing and take to the air
Walk on the wing - I’ll follow you anywhere
All the way down the aisle - flying blind - flying blind
Every step goes for miles - flying blind
I never thought I get this far - flying blind - flying blind
Up where the angels are - flying blind - flying blind
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8. |
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I’m not stupid and I’m not weak
But sometimes people aren’t straight with me
Sometimes I fall into despair
Because nobody knows I’m there
I’m not normal but just who is?
Don’t know the answer but this isn’t a quiz
Everyday finding one more piece
And still the puzzle is incomplete
But they won’t get me
No they won’t get me
In their pockets, with their rockets
With their gleaming plugs and sockets
Well I may seem small
But I feel it all
Intuition
I know everything
I only leave the house to kill
A line of credit and a handful of pills
Mouths to feed and babies to love
I’m overwhelmed and under done
I can’t comprehend this city I’m in
When I get home it clings to my skin
Close my eyes and it’s still in my head
Who’ll turn the TV off when I’m dead?
But they won’t get me
But they won’t get me
With their figures and their sniggers
And their presidents pulling triggers
Well I may seem small
But I feel it all
Intuition
I know everything
Don’t stop me now ‘cause I’m trying to love
I’m caught in the maze - the push and shove
There’s something inside - I gotta believe
And no one’s got all the data on me
So I won’t give in
No I won’t give in
To the violence, to the silence
To the deadening compliance
Cause I’m ten foot tall
And I feel it all
Intuition
I know everything
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9. |
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You are here
Hard to believe
Just us two
No one can leave
Now you are mine
By design
Welcome home
Just be yourself
You’re not going
Anywhere else
Now you are mine
By design
Who designs the lives we make?
What’s the cosmic plan?
Are you real
Am I a fake
By design?
Tonight is perfectly still
In my dreams
That is the thrill
Now you are mine
By design
The world just doesn’t understand
The way I feel tonight
Does your heart beat fast as mine
By design?
So hush
There’s no escape
We’ll be lost
In some other place
Lost in the love that we make
By design
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10. |
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The children are ready to burn
Dreadful secrets I’ll never learn
Private skins they plan to shed
When the police helicopters have gone to bed
The children are all in disguise
Already they’re plotting our demise
Like their many deceased pets
They’ll let us slip away from neglect
How could you leave me?
Why won’t you stay?
How can I set you free?
The children swear - ‘oh I forget’
Buried menus - obscene texts
Limbs akimbo - feet up in the air
Like an alien who doesn’t understand a chair
The children live on toast and jam
No eye contact - doors that slam
Shoes that pile up on the floor
Like they don’t wanna dance no more
How could you leave me?
Why won’t you stay?
How can I set you free?
The children are ready to fly
They go quiet when we happen by
They got that look like ‘yeah, for sure’
Here we go - another world war
How could you leave me?
Why can’t you stay with me?
How can I set you free?
Go to sleep
Go to sleep
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11. |
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I wanna come home
I’m gonna roll over
All the skeletons and bones
Throw salt over my shoulder
Who knows where I’ve been? But I’m still alive
Don’t know what I’ve seen on the other side
But I’m …
Lucky
Who would’ve known?
Lucky
I’m not alone
Regrets, I’ve had a few
All the lies I coulda told you
But who can handle the truth?
Mind if I cry on your shoulder?
Who knows what I seen before I called you?
You don’t know what it means just getting through
to you is …
Lucky - runs in the blood
Lucky - arms full of love
Lucky - I’m not alone
In sickness and in health
I know the number to dial
Someone call a priest
I’m thinking of heading on down the aisle
Who knows where I’ll go if I fall asleep?
Please stay on the phone - I wanna hear you speak
I repeat
Lucky - I’m kissin’ the dream
Lucky - I wanna believe
Lucky - I’m comin’ home
Lucky - I’m not alone
I’m not alone
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12. |
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I’m gonna stay here with you
Maybe say some little words
Hold your hand and breathe a while
Sing the missing line
I know that you’re a damaged bird
Tied on to a piece of string
Tethered to an imperfect world
That’s coming to an end
Fly away
You can go lightly
Fly away
Don’t have to remember
Fly away
Fly away
Fly away
All of us are little flowers
Sprouting amidst ancient ruins
We lean towards the passing sun
’Til a shadow cuts us down
Imagine you not here
The garden would just fade away
The air would hang still and close
Absence vibrates
Fly away
We’ll miss you
Fly away
Our voices will go with you
Fly away
Fly away
Fly away
Fly away
We love you
Fly away
Let go if you want to
Fly away
Fly away
Fly away
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A variety of acclaimed Australian recording artists contribute to this album. They provide a range of styles, points of view and perspectives to the age-old conundrum: can I keep it together as mortality encroaches and galaxies collide?
released October 19, 2016
Composed, performed, recorded and mixed by Peter Farnan with:
Rebecca Barnard - vocals
Ali Barter - vocals
Shannon Birchall - double bass
Simon Burke - vocals
Paul Capsis - vocals
Deborah Conway - vocals
Tony Floyd- drums
Charles Jenkins - vocals
Paul Kelly - vocals
Sean Kelly - vocals
Emily Lubitz - vocals
Peter Maslen - drums
Richard Pleasance - double bass
Tim Rogers - vocals
Dan Tobias - vocals
Sarah Ward - vocals
Recorded at Busy Bee and Ginger Studios
Engineered by Peter Farnan and Jimi Wyatt with additional tweaks by Ricki Rae
Mixed by Peter Farnan at Busy Bee
Mastered by Martin Pullan at Eden Sound
Produced by Peter Farnan
Special Thanks
Scot Crawford, Dean McLachlan, Bill Page, Stuart Spence, Jimi Wyatt, Jane, Maudie, Stella
A very special thanks to the following people helped get this project over the line
Marcus Allan
Frank Castel
Andrew Duffield
Julia Holt
David Harrod
Sharon Grezar
Robyn Doyle
Elizabeth Keyishian Wilks
David Wilks
Bruce Hutchins
Deviani Segal
Susie Tallman
